Thursday, February 5, 2009


Apparently OCD is not my only problem. I have now been diagnosed with a new disorder, which my husband has named "Homing Syndrome". Because he is a doctor - a doctor of b.s.- he is able to diagnose my wierdness with these fancy new terms.

I was diagnosed with this "Homing Syndrome" at about 11:30 pm on Tuesday night as my in house doctor stepped out of the shower.

He says, "You know what? I think you have Homing Syndrome"

I was like, "What the heck is that?" (My brows are furrowed even as I am typing this because I still have no clue where it came from.) "Am I a pigeon?"

He said, "I think your dad must have been gone too much when you were a kid and you missed him so much you have developed Homing Syndrome."

Now, I did not know Christopher when I was growing up. So he does not really know where my dad spent his time. My dad took us camping, hunting, fishing, shooting, on long rides to scope out wildlife. All on the weekends, if he did not have to work. So my dad was around.

I told Christopher that I thought this was the most bizarre thing he has ever said to me. So I had to ask where it was coming from.

He said, "You seem to think I need to be with you all of the time. You need me home."

I laughed. Laughed big and loud. So I told him, "If you want to go do things with your friends, go. You go and hang out with the guys. You go live it up Rock Star Style. Who are you going to go with?"

He says, "I don't know?"

I ask, "Have you been invited to go hang with the guys? And what guys would they be?"

He says, "Well no one right now."

So, Christopher, you are free to hang with the guys, when they ask or you ask them. And I know it will only be Tyler and you will go 4-wheeling. Because everyone else just wants you to go to the nudey bar with them. And if they ask for you to go there, you can say:

"Sorry, my wife has Homing Syndrome!"

Below, you will see a tribute to my dad, (which I wrote a while ago just to tease my dad), who's actions in my youth did not lead to my coming down with Homing Syndrome!

My Dad
By Shelly Anne

My dad is a crazy man,
He likes to think he can can-can.

He has me do such crazy tasks,
Of course I do them, because he asks.

I totally would be lost without my dad,
Even though his is quite mad!

And that’s what makes my dad my dad,
For all the greatness and the bad.

He loves me each and every day,
Even though I live far away.

He never is to busy for me,
And my little family.

I love you daddy!


Tracy Cornia said...

I would love to live a day in your life. You guys are so funny, you crack my up.

The Handleys said...

I think you guys are so fun. you keep life interesting

Ronda said...

Wow, I didn't you know you were such a talented poem writer. Write one about me! :) Ok, and as for the Homing Syndrome... that is hilarious! I miss you :(